You’ll find countless websites offering openers but you won’t find many that will tell you exactly what to do when the panties hit the floor. So in this post I’ll give you guys a few resources that will teach you how to give women the sexual experiences of their life.

Communication

I’ve had a friend with benefits for more than a year. We hook up every week. I thought things were phenomenal between us until she recently dropped a bomb.

We were messing around when suddenly she stopped, put her clothes on and went to the living room. She was clearly frustrated. She later admitted to me that she wasn’t feeling it. She compared it to a guy not being able to get it hard. She gave me a few tips on what I could do differently and even though I was a bit embarrassed, I took her advice.

This event made me realize how I never really learned how to please a woman. As long as I’ve been sexually active, I’ve been doing what I thought women enjoyed. I never took the time to attempt to discover what women actually like. Women not communicating with me only prolonged the problem.

Communication is key before, during and after. Women are different. Some like to be spanked and some like to be choked. You won’t know exactly what your woman likes unless you ask her. She’ll be glad you did since it only benefits her in the long run.

Tips and Resources

After talking with my friend with benefits, I looked up some tips on how to please a woman sexually. I found a book called “I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide.” The book offers a detailed explanation on what gets women off. Here are some of the book’s tips on handling a woman’s clit.

• Don’t reach for her clit too early in the sexual interaction. Many women find their clitoris likes to be touched only after they’re somewhat aroused.
• Don’t jump in. Touch her somewhere else first and move in on her genitals gradually. If your hands are really dry, lick your fingers first. When a finger goes directly to a women’s clitoris, she may sort of jump because it hurts. Don’t go straight for the clit, and once you get to the clit, don’t ignore the rest of the vulva area.
• Cut your nails, especially the one or two most likely to be touching her genitals. Being touched by a partner with long or dirty nails can be uncomfortable, painful or downright gross.
• Start gently. Touch and stroke her vaginal lips. Slowly work your way inside. Once you’re touching her clitoris, remember, this is an exquisitely sensitive organ. Being “gentle” and “soft” were the most common pieces of advice women in our survey gave partners about how to touch their genitals. You can start up at the top of the shaft, jus under the bone, and move down closer to the head if she wants you to. She may want firmer pressure, but ask her about that or follow her lead.
• Some women find it helpful to break down clitoral touching into three key components: directness, pressure and speed. You can check whether she wants her clitoris touched right on the tip versus the shaft or father away (directness) how hard she wants the stimulation to be (pressure), and how fast she wants the movement to be (speed).
• Keep it wet. Once you’ve got skin-to-skin contact, lick your fingers, add lube, or dip into her vagina’s wetness to wet and rewet her clit.
• If she’ll let you watch her masturbate, that’s a great way to see how she likes to be touched.
• Stimulate multiple parts at once. Many women love having other parts of their body touched simultaneously with clitoral stimulation.

The book gives advice on how to eat out a woman, positions to try out, female ejaculation and more. For a great book on eating women out look up “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner.

This post can go on and on about this topic so I added these books and others to a new section of the PUA Books page called Sex: Books on how to pleasure a woman.

Sorry for the long post guys. If you have any tips put them in the comment section.

Pic via LA Weekly

On the surface, this story seems insignificant. A woman goes out with a guy she met on OkCupid. They go out twice then decide to part ways. For most people, this is a shared experience. The difference with this story is the guy in this scenario was a world champion Magic: The Gathering player and she was a shallow stuck-up Gizmodo blogger. The result of their gatherings (get it?!) is a current internet backlash over her post putting the poor guy on blast for doing what he loves.

The shallow bitch in question is Gizmodo blogger Alyssa Bereznak. You can read her Gizmodo blog post about their dates here.

Alyssa Bereznak unknowingly went out with Jon Finkel the former world champion of Magic: The Gathering, a strategic card game with a hardcore following. Alyssa compares his “geekery” to “pogs or something” then proceeds to complain how he never mentioned this tidbit in his OkCupid profile. She then inexplicably bashes on the guy’s hobby on their 2^nd date. That’s right, even after she learned about his hobby, Googled him to confirm his professional career AND criticized his internet dating etiquette, she still went out on another date with the guy. Any sensible person would have either cut communication with someone they don’t see themselves dating or try to move past his hobby to find a connection beyond a card game. Instead, Alyssa went out with the guy to continue criticizing his hobby. Bitch. By the end of her post, she admits learning something very important in life. “Google the shit out of your next online date.”

What’s funny is that she writes for Gizmodo a high-tech blog targeted at the affluent nerds of the world. Well, many people took offense. Her post has gone viral sparking countless responses and comments across the internet.

A few hours after her blog post became public Jon Finkel hosted an AMA on Reddit.

Turns out he’s actually a really nice guy with a lucrative career playing a game he loves. Wikipedia states his earnings are close to $400,000 from Magic: The Gathering tournaments. So what went wrong with Jon’s OkCupid experience? He may have been a nerd for playing Magic: The Gathering but he was the champion. That’s worth at least a blow job. If I meet a woman who’s a world champion in anything besides chewing off dicks, I’m buying her a drink.

What went wrong?

To be fair Alyssa is like most women looking for Mr. Right except she had the audacity to write about her experience on a high traffic website and use his real name in the process. Alyssa was simply qualifying Jon to be her mate. Qualifying is screening someone based on a predetermined list of desired traits, conscious or subconscious.

Alyssa made it clear in the first paragraph of her post that she felt superior to what OKCupid had to offer. I mean, she did state having to be drunk to make an account on the dating site. Plus she compared the site to being “alone in a dark, date-rapey bar.” I give her credit for having unnecessarily high self-esteem. Have you seen her picture? Bitch you must know how it feels to be alone in a dark, date-rapey bar because you sure as hell don’t have guys hitting on you.

First dates are always the same. Both people ask each other qualifying questions and slowly screen each other for possible long-term relationships. Standard qualifying first-date, or first-encounter, questions are:

• Where do you live? (Seeing if you still live at home, rent or own your own home.)
• Where do you work? (Are you a lazy fuck or do you have a decent job that could support me if need be in the future.)
• Where did you go to school?
• How long was your last relationship? (She’s determining if you’re relationship material. If you haven’t had a relationship, it’ll throw up red flags.)

Handling qualifying questions from women

Qualifying scenarios are easy to turn around on someone. You can do one of two things. Ignore her questions or go cocky-funny on them. Both of these solutions communicate confidence to a woman. It puts you on the screening side and her on the hot spot. She should be trying to win you over with her accomplishments or favorable traits. Here are some examples:

Her: Where do you live?
You: 3^rd and Main under the bridge. What about you? You have your own house yet? I need a place to sleep.

Her: Where do you work?
You: I don’t want to talk about work. So where do you see yourself in 5 years? And don’t say taking care of my kids.

Of course every scenario is different so gauge her personality and test a couple of these to see how she reacts. The important thing is to have fun with it. You’re going out with a woman to entertain yourself not to look for something to blog about.

What do you guys think? Did she cross the line writing about it on Gizmodo?

5. Malls

I’m not talking about the crappy strip malls. Malls with high end designer stores are crawling with women. It would be a challenge to go five feet in a mall during a weekend without running into a beautiful woman. The mall is an amazing place for beginners or experienced PUAs to meet women. If you’re just starting out as a PUA, malls are ideal environments to test your approach skills on store employees. Try going up to women in stores and asking for their opinions. You can open with something like, “I’m getting my mom/friend/sister a gift. What do you think about this perfume?” If you meet someone, try going for an instant date. After building some rapport suggest continuing the conversation over lunch or some coffee.

4. Coffee shops

Coffee shops are everywhere nowadays. Coffee shops have always been my favorite first date destinations but they’re also one of the most popular places to meet women. Visit a Starbucks near a college campus and you’ll be blown away. And because there are so many around, you can hit multiple spots within a couple of hours. I try to visit my local Starbucks as often as possible. If I have some work to do or want to catch up on some reading, I’ll take it to Starbucks to check out the scenery.

3. Bookstores

If you’re into intellectuals, bookstores should be your primary destination. I recommend grabbing a book you’ve been meaning to read, sitting in one of the comfy bookstore chairs and patiently waiting until something catches your eye. If you spot a cutie in the romantic section try making a joke about the genre. If you get a conversation going you can take it to the in-store coffee shop or if you’re feeling ballsy, to the sex section.

2. Concerts

Think about the conversation topics you have when you first meet a woman. Music is usually one the first to come up. So logically, going to concerts is a fantastic way to meet women who share your taste in music. In added bonus is what women usually do at concerts. Most of the time they’re either drunk or on something totally different. The problem with concerts is it can be difficult talking to women during the loud music. I recommend getting there a couple of hours before the show and hitting up one of the nearby bars.  You’re sure to meet some women on their way to the concert.

1. The Internet

By far the best place to meet women is the internet. I could write a whole post on meeting women over the internet and I just might. Besides the huge dating sites like eHarmony or Match.com, there are plenty of free dating sites. Before you make a profile though, spend some time reading women’s profiles. You should notice how a majority of women will utilize emotional descriptive words in their profiles while men generally try boast about their accomplishments and materialistic objects. If you want to build a profile that will attract women, you have to think like them. Write a profile that focuses on your personality. Last of all, include a picture. Studies have shown women are attracted to photos of men where they are looking away from the camera. Avoid cell phone camera pictures at all costs. If you don’t have a decent camera, ask you friends for one.

The same profile rules apply to social networking sites. Facebook is currently the biggest social networking site in the world. If you don’t have a Facebook profile yet, you should definitely consider getting one to meet women. Pickup artist gurus swear by the Facebook poke feature. I’ve read of some guys doing mass “pokes” and getting positive results.

Have your own places? Post a comment below to share it with the community. Game on.

A classic video of David DeAngelo teaching cocky comedy. Cocky comedy effectively communicates status and dominance through speech. According to David DeAngelo women are naturally attracted to men who are cocky and funny. Some of David DeAngelo’s best work like, “Double Your Dating” is based on this principle.

I’ve made immense progress in picking up women but nothing could compare to the week I had in mid-March. My greatest week as a PUA in training started on Wednesday, the 16^th of March.

Wednesday

I don’t usually drink during the week. On Wednesday though, I made an exception for a cute 21 year old that came over with her equally cute friend. A friend and I were able set up a double date with two girls we met the prior Saturday at a bar. I spent most of the night making out with my date.

Thursday

Besides watching Jersey Shore, the rest of the night was spent with a bed buddy. She slept over but we didn’t do much sleeping.

Friday

I went out with a few friends to a local bar. Wasn’t expecting to meet anyone but of course I did. My friends and I talked to a couple of girls and managed to get them to another bar then to eat afterwards. I ended the night by number closing one of them.

Saturday

When I thought my week couldn’t get any better, unsurprisingly, it did. I accompanied a friend on a party bus that was filled with beautiful drunk women. My “date” had a boyfriend and has been in my friend zone for more than a year. That night she confessed her feelings for me and practically begged me to get with her. Long story short, she broke up with her boyfriend through a text at four in the morning while we were fooling around in the back seat of her car.

That was my best week so far as a PUA in training. What’s yours?

On my first night out of 2011 I went to a local karaoke bar. I wasn’t expecting any approachable sets to be there but I went anyways to meet some friends. My assumption was dead on because the bar was filled with middle aged people. After a couple of drinks an old friend shows up with his girlfriend and two of her cousins, one of which was a solid HB8. She was about 5’3”, slender, with shoulder length hair and a nice smile. The four of them went across the bar to a table. Later in the night a friend tells me the HB8 wants to meet me and that I should go over and introduce myself.

I had a warm approach on my hands, as opposed to a cold approach. A warm approach is when you meet someone from within your social circle. In this case, the HB8 was related to a friend’s girlfriend. I approach the set to wish my friend a happy birthday then opened the HB8. I opened her by asking what she was going to sing. She mentions her disappointment for the bar’s lack of Doors songs which led to a drawn out discussion on music. After that we talked about trips she’s taken, her background and other meaningless subjects.

Even though the conversation was mediocre, she kept giving me indicators of interest (IOIs). She would reengage me in conversation when I’d chat with my friend. She asked me to sit down and she asked me several of the common getting-to-know-you questions. At one point of the music thread, she asked for my address to send me a compilation CD of her favorite Doors songs. I told her to write it down on her cell phone and she responded by saying she didn’t own a cell phone. That should have set off a warning sign but I continued the boring conversation anyways.

After awhile of meaningless chit-chat, I ended the conversation and returned to my friends across the bar. At the end of the night, on her way out she came over to say goodbye and I number closed. A few days later I texted her and never received a response. I called but it just rang without going to a voicemail.

Assessment:

There are two things that I think contributed to the fake number. First, I didn’t set a time constraint. I lingered for far too long after the conversation lost any of its interest. Second, I reverted back to my old ways of boring conversation topics. One of my sticking points is forgetting everything I’ve learned whenever I meet an attractive woman. This was definitely one of those moments.

What do you think? Could I have done anything different?

• Pack on some muscle – I’m not overweight but I’m lacking in the muscle department. I’ve already started the P90X program and planning to hit the gym more often.
• Improve my day game – I’ve missed some great opportunities to meet women outside of the bars/clubs. Approaching a woman without a drink in my hand is intimidating but it’s something I desperately need to improve.
• Stop using canned openers – Canned openers are great for beginners but I’ve been doing this for more than a year now. It’s time to take off the training wheels.

So here’s to the best year of our lives. Happy new year everyone. Now go get some!

Let me know what your 2011 PUA goals are in the comment section.

Peacocking accessories don’t have to be vibrant or obnoxious as described in the best-selling book, The Game by Neil Strauss. Styles may be able to pull off a cowboy hat or boa in a club but, it’s not for everyone.  It’s definitely not for me. I utilize subtle peacocking, an oxymoron I’m fully aware of. Instead of wearing colorful clothing, I pay attention to small details. Women have a keen eye for detail. My form of peacocking may not be obvious to men, but it sends a loud signal to women that I have my shit together.

I came up with my own form of peacocking after asking various women what they first noticed about a man. Their answers were completely unexpected. I’ve heard women mention clean shoes, well kept nails, and cologne as the first things they notice. A colorful cowboy hat may get a conversation started but could backfire if the accessory doesn’t coincide with your personality. If you’re shy, like me, giving you a pink boa won’t magically turn you into a conversationalist.

So if you’re like me and don’t want to feel like an idiot, peacocking with cowboy hats, nail polish and boas, take some tips from my favorite peacocking accessories.

Watches

Men don’t wear watches these days and why would they? Everyone has a cell phone or an iPod that can tell time. A watch these days is worn for style. My personal favorite is similar to this modern watch made by Guess. My particular watch has several gears in the background. It’s a perfect conversation starter. Women think it’s an advanced highly technological watch because of all the gears but they don’t do anything. It’s a façade that sparks their interest.

Rings

Without a doubt, my favorite peacocking accessories are my rings. I have two tungsten carbide rings and one ceramic ring I purchased from Jewelrypayless.com. I’ll wear one ring on my middle finger of my right hand whenever I go out. Rings are my favorites because of the best routine known to man, “The Ring Routine.” If you haven’t memorized it, drop everything you’re doing and tattoo this one into your brain. The ring routine lets you cold read a woman by the jewelry she’s wearing. At the same time, you’re demonstrating your high-worth with your own jewelry. I’ve used The Ring Routine dozens, maybe even hundreds, of times. If you take anything from this list, let it be rings.

Necklaces

This Pepper Pave Stone necklace by D&G has character. If you wear it with the top few buttons of your shirt opened, you’ll definitely get noticed. It’s accessories like these that work for you and not against you. When you wear a pink boa in a club you’ll constantly be defending and explaining yourself. When you wear something like this, it creates curiosity in women, encouraging them to approach you. Plus, what sophisticated woman would want to be seen with some jackass in a pink boa.

Shoes

Various women I’ve talked to have said shoes are the first thing they notice on men. The wrong pair of shoes can ruin an outfit, but the right pair of shoes can speak volumes about your sense of style. My shoe collection has been slowly multiplying since I’ve started my PUA journey. I have shoes for every occasion and venue to go with all of my outfits. When I first started, I would wear a worn out pair of dress shoes to clubs with a dress code. The shoes would get me in the door but wouldn’t get me anywhere with women. Even with an excellent outfit, the shoes made me self-conscious which would affect my interactions with women. Do yourself a favor and get a nice pair of dress shoes.

Blazers

One thing I’ve noticed in clubs and lounges in Los Angeles is how the clothes guys wear make them appear nearly identical. The standard uniform for men in LA is dark jeans and button-up shirts. If it’s not a button-up shirt, it’ll be those obnoxious Ed Hardy designer t-shirts. To separate myself from the clones, I’ll wear a dark charcoal or navy fitted blazer. I consistently receive complements from women whenever I sport a blazer. Plus, you can wear it with a nice dress shirt, a v-neck, or a regular t-shirt.

Yup, it's positive. This guy is full of shit.

Women have a way of subconsciously disqualifying men using tests. These subconscious tests are called shit tests. Women test men through snide remarks or revealing questions and filter out men with incongruent personalities. Simply put, women will give you shit and see how you react. Attractive women have plenty of options when it comes to men and shit tests allow them to quickly disqualify the incompatible ones. Common shit tests are, “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m a lesbian.” Your reactions to their shit test will communicate your eligibility as a suitor. If you can pass their little shit tests you’ll spark attraction and interest. Fail a shit test and you’ll quickly find yourself alone or even worse, in the friend zone.  I’ve had my share of shit tests with women but my recent test had me contemplating a retake.

This past Friday a couple of friends and I decided to try out a new club a few blocks away from my place. First thing I noticed when I walked in was the abundance of cougars. That bar must be a cougar sanctuary because they were everywhere. Eventually, some younger women started to fill the place. It was like any other night, a lot of drinking and mingling, except for one interaction that stood out from all the others.

We’re standing at the bar, when a pair of cougars approaches.  They ordered their drinks and stuck around. My friends are doing their thing with some other women when one of the cougars gives me a bump. I give her a dirty look then smile. She laughs, apologizes and continues talking to her friend. A few moments later, I intentionally bump her and it’s officially on like Donkey Kong.  I tell her we’re even and call a truce. After that we vibe for a while on the typical conversations I’ve learned to have with women.

My rules for conversations with women are simple. No boring questions. Keep it light and fun. Asking what she does for a living will never get you anywhere. Like David DeAngelo says, those types of questions don’t build attraction. They build friendly relationships.

We had an amusing conversation until the cougars stepped away for a bathroom break. I thought there was no chance she would be coming back so I rejoined my friends and forgot about her.

Not more than ten minutes had passed when I nearly got tackled. It was the cougar and her friend back for some more. Seeing as she came back, which was an obvious indicator of interest, I decided to escalate the attraction. But, I escalated too quickly. We were talking about her body when I decided to have a feel, a move that may have been too forward if it weren’t for all the flirting we had been doing.

Now this is where things went downhill. She wanted to make it clear that she wasn’t a “hoochie.” She then continued to say that men should always ask a women’s permission before doing anything. This was an obvious shit test that I didn’t recognize at the time. She even said men should always ask a women’s permission to hold her hand. I was dumbfounded. I thought I had offended her so I apologized and promised I’d never touch her again. At that precise moment, around midnight on December 10^th, 2010, attraction between the cougar and I, died.

Assessment

My biggest mistake wasn’t the kino, it was the apology. I went from confident to coward when I promised to never touch her again. If I really offended her she would have walked away to mingle with the dozens of other guys in the club. Instead she stayed and continued the conversation. Her shit test rattled me enough to kill the attraction instantly. What I should have done was continue the confident cocky-funny persona I had started with. Lesson learned. Cougars are dangerous deceptive creatures.