I realized after almost two years of following the pickup artist (PUA) community that most of the material on blogs, forums, and books focuses on interacting with women so the relationship can eventually become sexually physical but hardly any teaches men how to actually please a woman sexually.
You’ll find countless websites offering openers but you won’t find many that will tell you exactly what to do when the panties hit the floor. So in this post I’ll give you guys a few resources that will teach you how to give women the sexual experiences of their life.
I’ve had a friend with benefits for more than a year. We hook up every week. I thought things were phenomenal between us until she recently dropped a bomb.
We were messing around when suddenly she stopped, put her clothes on and went to the living room. She was clearly frustrated. She later admitted to me that she wasn’t feeling it. She compared it to a guy not being able to get it hard. She gave me a few tips on what I could do differently and even though I was a bit embarrassed, I took her advice.
This event made me realize how I never really learned how to please a woman. As long as I’ve been sexually active, I’ve been doing what I thought women enjoyed. I never took the time to attempt to discover what women actually like. Women not communicating with me only prolonged the problem.
Communication is key before, during and after. Women are different. Some like to be spanked and some like to be choked. You won’t know exactly what your woman likes unless you ask her. She’ll be glad you did since it only benefits her in the long run.
Tips and Resources
After talking with my friend with benefits, I looked up some tips on how to please a woman sexually. I found a book called “I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide.” The book offers a detailed explanation on what gets women off. Here are some of the book’s tips on handling a woman’s clit.
- Don’t reach for her clit too early in the sexual interaction. Many women find their clitoris likes to be touched only after they’re somewhat aroused.
- Don’t jump in. Touch her somewhere else first and move in on her genitals gradually. If your hands are really dry, lick your fingers first. When a finger goes directly to a women’s clitoris, she may sort of jump because it hurts. Don’t go straight for the clit, and once you get to the clit, don’t ignore the rest of the vulva area.
- Cut your nails, especially the one or two most likely to be touching her genitals. Being touched by a partner with long or dirty nails can be uncomfortable, painful or downright gross.
- Start gently. Touch and stroke her vaginal lips. Slowly work your way inside. Once you’re touching her clitoris, remember, this is an exquisitely sensitive organ. Being “gentle” and “soft” were the most common pieces of advice women in our survey gave partners about how to touch their genitals. You can start up at the top of the shaft, jus under the bone, and move down closer to the head if she wants you to. She may want firmer pressure, but ask her about that or follow her lead.
- Some women find it helpful to break down clitoral touching into three key components: directness, pressure and speed. You can check whether she wants her clitoris touched right on the tip versus the shaft or father away (directness) how hard she wants the stimulation to be (pressure), and how fast she wants the movement to be (speed).
- Keep it wet. Once you’ve got skin-to-skin contact, lick your fingers, add lube, or dip into her vagina’s wetness to wet and rewet her clit.
- If she’ll let you watch her masturbate, that’s a great way to see how she likes to be touched.
- Stimulate multiple parts at once. Many women love having other parts of their body touched simultaneously with clitoral stimulation.
The book gives advice on how to eat out a woman, positions to try out, female ejaculation and more. For a great book on eating women out look up “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner.
Sorry for the long post guys. If you have any tips put them in the comment section.