Pic via LA Weekly
On the surface, this story seems insignificant. A woman goes out with a guy she met on OkCupid. They go out twice then decide to part ways. For most people, this is a shared experience. The difference with this story is the guy in this scenario was a world champion Magic: The Gathering player and she was a shallow stuck-up Gizmodo blogger. The result of their gatherings (get it?!) is a current internet backlash over her post putting the poor guy on blast for doing what he loves.
The shallow bitch in question is Gizmodo blogger Alyssa Bereznak. You can read her Gizmodo blog post about their dates here.
Alyssa Bereznak unknowingly went out with Jon Finkel the former world champion of Magic: The Gathering, a strategic card game with a hardcore following. Alyssa compares his “geekery” to “pogs or something” then proceeds to complain how he never mentioned this tidbit in his OkCupid profile. She then inexplicably bashes on the guy’s hobby on their 2nd date. That’s right, even after she learned about his hobby, Googled him to confirm his professional career AND criticized his internet dating etiquette, she still went out on another date with the guy. Any sensible person would have either cut communication with someone they don’t see themselves dating or try to move past his hobby to find a connection beyond a card game. Instead, Alyssa went out with the guy to continue criticizing his hobby. Bitch. By the end of her post, she admits learning something very important in life. “Google the shit out of your next online date.”
What’s funny is that she writes for Gizmodo a high-tech blog targeted at the affluent nerds of the world. Well, many people took offense. Her post has gone viral sparking countless responses and comments across the internet.
A few hours after her blog post became public Jon Finkel hosted an AMA on Reddit.
Turns out he’s actually a really nice guy with a lucrative career playing a game he loves. Wikipedia states his earnings are close to $400,000 from Magic: The Gathering tournaments. So what went wrong with Jon’s OkCupid experience? He may have been a nerd for playing Magic: The Gathering but he was the champion. That’s worth at least a blow job. If I meet a woman who’s a world champion in anything besides chewing off dicks, I’m buying her a drink.
What went wrong?
To be fair Alyssa is like most women looking for Mr. Right except she had the audacity to write about her experience on a high traffic website and use his real name in the process. Alyssa was simply qualifying Jon to be her mate. Qualifying is screening someone based on a predetermined list of desired traits, conscious or subconscious.
Alyssa made it clear in the first paragraph of her post that she felt superior to what OKCupid had to offer. I mean, she did state having to be drunk to make an account on the dating site. Plus she compared the site to being “alone in a dark, date-rapey bar.” I give her credit for having unnecessarily high self-esteem. Have you seen her picture? Bitch you must know how it feels to be alone in a dark, date-rapey bar because you sure as hell don’t have guys hitting on you.
First dates are always the same. Both people ask each other qualifying questions and slowly screen each other for possible long-term relationships. Standard qualifying first-date, or first-encounter, questions are:
- Where do you live? (Seeing if you still live at home, rent or own your own home.)
- Where do you work? (Are you a lazy fuck or do you have a decent job that could support me if need be in the future.)
- Where did you go to school?
- How long was your last relationship? (She’s determining if you’re relationship material. If you haven’t had a relationship, it’ll throw up red flags.)
Handling qualifying questions from women
Qualifying scenarios are easy to turn around on someone. You can do one of two things. Ignore her questions or go cocky-funny on them. Both of these solutions communicate confidence to a woman. It puts you on the screening side and her on the hot spot. She should be trying to win you over with her accomplishments or favorable traits. Here are some examples:
Her: Where do you live?
You: 3rd and Main under the bridge. What about you? You have your own house yet? I need a place to sleep.
Her: Where do you work?
You: I don’t want to talk about work. So where do you see yourself in 5 years? And don’t say taking care of my kids.
Of course every scenario is different so gauge her personality and test a couple of these to see how she reacts. The important thing is to have fun with it. You’re going out with a woman to entertain yourself not to look for something to blog about.
What do you guys think? Did she cross the line writing about it on Gizmodo?
http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/08/my-okcupid-affair-with-a-world-champion-magic-the-gathering-player is the original article
It includes phrases like “Champion dweeb in hedge-fund manager clothing”
Thanks Katrina. This story just keeps getting better.
It occurs to me that her uber-bitchiness might be a strategy to compensate for her lack of physical gifts. I mean, obviously if she went to a beauty salon that did professional makeup and hair, she’d do herself a lot of good in the looks department. Especially if she followed that up with a half-decent wardrobe. Seriously, the Mormon-chic look only works in Fundamentalist LDS towns in Arizona these days.
However, I think her attitude is exactly right, “Lick my shoes, worms!” is going to get her dates with the kind of men she wants and work to keep her in control of the situation. She’s clearly not an Alpha Female, but she’s trying to play the role of Alpha Bitch. (Maybe NY hipsters like the Sarah-Plain-and-Tall look, it’d never fly in Miami, though.)
Incidentally, not only is Finkel good at Magic, but like many Magic players he went on to win at professional Poker.
http://www.amazon.com/Jonny-Magic-Card-Shark-Kids/dp/1400064074
“Journalist Kushner, author of Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created an Empire and Transformed Pop Culture, treats Finkel’s saga as a journey toward self-knowledge and manhood, as he loses weight, starts scoring babes (with the help of arcane womanizing strategies gleaned from PickUpGuide.com) and develops the stoic grace under pressure that defines mature masculinity.”
So, I’m not exactly crying for him, except…. why did he go for a 2 like Alyssa (and I’m only calling her a 2 because I’ve never seen a 1). Maybe he thought she’d be an easy lay… but if you have to do it with the lights out what’s the point?
This is excellent stuff. Shameless plugging but I posted twice on this, didn’t see yours until after I’d hit publish or it would have made the post itself.
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/cattiness-and-the-un-selected-man/
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/further-thoughts-on-the-bereznak-finkel-kerfuffle/
I think the problem was identifying him by his full name and linking it to his wiki page. If she hadn’t done that, the whole “going on a second date just for fodder for my article” wouldn’t have mattered as much.