It happens to every PUA, right? You meet some girl at a bar, have a conversation and number close thinking you’ll talk to her again in a couple of days. Then you try calling or texting and you find out you’ve been duped. Even though several female friends have admitted giving guys fake numbers to spare their feelings, I never thought it would happen to me. Of all the numbers closes I’ve made, I’ve never had a fake number. Well, it finally happened to me and I’ve been trying to figure out what led to her giving me a fake number. I understand why I woman would give a guy a fake number, to save them from rejection, but I’d rather have a woman be honest with me. You be the judge. Check out my field report and tell me what you think.
On my first night out of 2011 I went to a local karaoke bar. I wasn’t expecting any approachable sets to be there but I went anyways to meet some friends. My assumption was dead on because the bar was filled with middle aged people. After a couple of drinks an old friend shows up with his girlfriend and two of her cousins, one of which was a solid HB8. She was about 5’3”, slender, with shoulder length hair and a nice smile. The four of them went across the bar to a table. Later in the night a friend tells me the HB8 wants to meet me and that I should go over and introduce myself.
I had a warm approach on my hands, as opposed to a cold approach. A warm approach is when you meet someone from within your social circle. In this case, the HB8 was related to a friend’s girlfriend. I approach the set to wish my friend a happy birthday then opened the HB8. I opened her by asking what she was going to sing. She mentions her disappointment for the bar’s lack of Doors songs which led to a drawn out discussion on music. After that we talked about trips she’s taken, her background and other meaningless subjects.
Even though the conversation was mediocre, she kept giving me indicators of interest (IOIs). She would reengage me in conversation when I’d chat with my friend. She asked me to sit down and she asked me several of the common getting-to-know-you questions. At one point of the music thread, she asked for my address to send me a compilation CD of her favorite Doors songs. I told her to write it down on her cell phone and she responded by saying she didn’t own a cell phone. That should have set off a warning sign but I continued the boring conversation anyways.
After awhile of meaningless chit-chat, I ended the conversation and returned to my friends across the bar. At the end of the night, on her way out she came over to say goodbye and I number closed. A few days later I texted her and never received a response. I called but it just rang without going to a voicemail.
Assessment:
There are two things that I think contributed to the fake number. First, I didn’t set a time constraint. I lingered for far too long after the conversation lost any of its interest. Second, I reverted back to my old ways of boring conversation topics. One of my sticking points is forgetting everything I’ve learned whenever I meet an attractive woman. This was definitely one of those moments.
What do you think? Could I have done anything different?
I’m not totally convinced it was a fake number. She said she didn’t have a cell phone, so the number she gave you most likely was a land line. So of course texting is not going to work. It’s also quite possible that the land line has no voicemail or answering machine and that she wasn’t home when you called.
I Agree with Handsome Jamez maybe you should try that phone number one more time just to make sure it is really fake. Great post keep up the good work.
Thanks for the advice guys. I think I’ll try it one more time but there’s still something that bothers me about this whole thing. When she gave me her number she told me to call it so she could have mine. She then admitted to having a cell phone and held her clutch to her ear to make sure her phone was ringing when I called. So if it were her cell number, she would have received my text and have a voice mail box. I might have to let this one go without a fight.
Ah, now that you’ve re-framed this whole situation, I agree that this most likely was a fake number. At least it wasn’t one of those rejection lines.
Old post, but can’t stand not to react
. First, though I think it never happened to me (which I find pretty surprising), or at least the ones I tried to call weren’t fake, they do this because it’s easier than being honest. If she says no, some of the guys will just insist on getting it anyway. (Actually this is what some of the PUA guides teach you.) Girls are, unfortunately, used to take the easier path. Not all of them, some of them. They avoid confrontation. (Well, yes, just broke up wit a girl who found it easier to lie about even small inconvenient things, than to stand up for herself.)
Second, from your story it’s not that surprising tat you didn’t get a real number. I’m no PUA, just try to apply some of the tricks, but I also had similar pickups. It’s not the time constraint. That’s just needed so that they don’t bounce you immediately, which wouldn’t happen anyway, since you were part of the company (friend of a friend), or it’s there so that you have a reason to leave any time. So it’s not that. It’s probably (in PUA talk) that you didn’t DHV. Just talked about some boring topics. Also you probably didn’t neg. So you didn’t build attraction. You were a nice and boring guy. Forgetting the PUA lingo, se probably thought you were a handsome/good looking guy who just didn’t turn up to be interesting. No ‘click’ as the girls say. (No attraction, which, if you want to play a PUA
is your fault. Otherwise you just didn’t match 
)
BTW it might have been a real one. I had a few flakes. I always wondered how the hell do they know that it was me calling and not another guy they were into. Or someone important. Or interesting for other reasons. (Well, I might have been the one they were into and they might have tought that a looser was calling
) ) But in your case it was clear: you texted her first, so if it was hear real mobile number, she already knew who was calling… I never text girls. Just call them. Text is so easy to ignore and less risk taking.
You make some excellent points Huvosvadasz. First, I’ve never insisted a woman give me her number. Most of the time, they either offer it to me or ask for mine. In this case, she gave me several indicators of interest (IOI) so I felt obligated to get her number. To be honest, I didn’t think she was interesting anyways. However she was a cutie. But the point is I didn’t force her to give me her number, she readily gave it to me before she left. Again, another indicator of interest so I thought she would jump for joy when I called or texted her. Yeah, I was way off.
Second, I don’t neg women anymore. I hate that term. When I first started, I negged every woman I met. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. One thing that was constant though was that I felt like an asshole. Negging is not my natural personality so it felt forced and awkward. If negging works for you, then by all means do it. However, it’s not for everyone and I don’t think it’s what led to this fake number. She was into me until all that boring conversation happened. That’s where I felt like I failed.
Thanks for the advice.
Woman do that to be mean 90% of the time. Call the number she gives you on your cell phone right in front of her to verify it is her real number. If it is fake just laugh at her and tell her mature women don’t give out fake numbers only little teenage girls and lames and act like she is a total idiot and continue to laugh at her. She will feel like an idiot that her plan to build you up and let you down backfired and failed. I know a guy where some stupid barmaid gave him a fake number she built him up and he took it pretty hard. So he found out what car she drove and paid a crackhead to cut all her tires lol. I think what he did was a bit of bitch move but hey she did a bitch move and was a stupid bitch move herself to do it where she worked at and the guy was able to seek revenge out.